I Miss Him
by LauraahFTW
Summary: Rated - Kplus - inspired by bones - Kensi's first day back at work after her maternity leave - TWO-SHOT
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this one is kinda written for me. After watching Bones live last night (which is rare and very hard for me to do, due to me living in the UK) I just thought to myself - 'Hey, how would Kensi act at her first day back at work after having a baby - especially seeing as she wouldn't have a daycare on ''campus''.**

**So sorry to the person who I said I would write for today, but the muse of that story got kicked out of my head and this muse stole it's place in line - I'm sure the muse will be back again tomorrow :)**

**Okay, so here we go ...**

**- LJ x**

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**I Miss Him**  
**Rating: K+**  
**Words: 1,790**

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Kensi held the little bundle that her life now centred around in her arms, he was sleeping peacefully as she rocked back and forth, standing frozen in spot.

Deeks walked through into the sitting room with a green bag over one shoulder and holding the straps of his gym bag in the other hand. "Kens'?"

Kensi looked up to him and smiled before shooting her gaze back to the baby in her arms. "Have you got everything?" she said in a low voice, not looking up from the baby.

"Yes, everything is here, emergency bottles and formula in case you can't make it for lunch, special brand diapers, pacifiers, toys, blanket and about 20 extra romper suits"

Kensi looked up and saw that Deeks was now much closer to her. She bit her lip before preparing to hand the baby over. She shifted him into Deeks arm before pulling back the blanket a bit around his face and pressing a light kiss on his chubby cheek.

"Daddy get a kiss too?" Deeks laughed as Kensi placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"Do you think that we could convince Hetty for the OSP to open up an employee day care? Most agencies have them" Kensi said as she went to get her bag.

"It would be a pretty dull place seeing as only three people in the whole OSP have children" He smiled.

Kensi looked back at Deeks who was holding their 8 week old son. She originally only was supposed to have 1 ½ months off of work, but at 6 week she couldn't bear to leave him – so she took the two whole months for maternity.

Their son started to stir in Deeks' arms as Kensi walked back over.

"Ohh somebody's awake" Deeks smiled and changed the position he was holding his son. "I think Jacob wants mommy"

Kensi smiled and took Jacob back from Deeks.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked her, taking her bag from her – so now he was carrying all three bags.

"Thanks... I'm fine, really. It's going to be hard, that's all" Kensi smiled. "Let's get going."

Deeks nodded and they both walked out of their apartment, locking the door on the way out and over to Kensi's car.

"Deeks, can you drive? I think I'm going to sit in the back with Jacob" Kensi held her keys out to him.

Deeks gave her a sympathetic smile – he went back to work when Jacob was 2 weeks old as men had less 'maternity' than woman, plus he didn't want it to be equally hard to leave his son when they both went back. Although it was very hard, he had full comfort knowing Kensi was there with Jacob all the time, now he was prepared to leave him with somebody he only knew from files he shouldn't have even been looking at.

Deeks took the keys and walked around the car, throwing all of their bags into the front passenger side, knowing it would be easier to take them out from there than if they were in the trunk.

He got into the driver's side and watched in the rear-view mirror as Kensi checked and double checked each belt and socket that secured Jacob in – this wasn't his first time in the car, but today Kensi was extra angsty about it.

"Everybody safe?" He asked.

"Yeah" she said, checking Jacob was definitely secure.

Deeks started the engine and began to drive towards the day care they had signed Jacob up for – it was really high-class for a day care, it wasn't run out of anybody's home or in a small homely shack, it was one of the best in LA, the type celebrities would take their babies to.

"Why did we have to put him in a snobby day care?" Deeks asked.

"I didn't choose the snobbiest, I chose the safest, Deeks." Kensi snapped. "Sure it's a little bit more costly than the rest and we probably wouldn't be able to afford it if we didn't have my mom and Hetty, but I just want to take every precaution, it's not unnatural for people to use our families as leverage in our line of work ... I don't want anybody to have the opportunity, Deeks. Ever"

Deeks sighed, he knew exactly what Kensi meant, anybody could go after Jacob to get to them, heck all they had to do was say his name and they would do anything the people wanted. He was their son, and with their jobs, everybody was a threat.

They parked up at the day care and Kensi wasn't lying when she said it was one of the best in LA, just parking up he saw a few faces he recognised from TV. "At least Jacobs' friends will have famous mommy's and daddy's" Deeks sighed.

"Pack it in _Marty_" Kensi warned.

Deeks smiled and got out of the car, grabbing the bright green bag on his way out. He walked around the car and opened the Door for Kensi, who got out holding the car seat with Jacob in. "Thanks"

Kensi walked into the big white building, being guided by Deeks' hand on her back.

They walked up to the front desk and Deeks finally made a comment "Why does a day care need a front desk" he whispered to Kensi.

"At these prices I would be surprised if they didn't" Kensi whispered back before 'Next' was called.

"Hello, welcome to Primrose Day Care, how can I help you?" The receptionist asked.

"Uh, Kensi Blye and Martin Deeks, We're here to drop of Jacob Deeks for his first day" Kensi smiled lifting the car seat slightly. "8 weeks old."

"Ah, yes you're on the registry, it says you have paid full tuition for the year, is this correct?"

"Yes" Kensi nodded.

"Okay, both of you have been issued these passes." She passes two passes two them with 'PARENT' printed across them and 'JACOB D. DEEKS' in block capitols under it. "Just scan these through the door to your right and follow the signs to the Infants area" She smiled.

Kensi and Deeks both took their passes and smiled, before walking to the door on their right and scanning the passes. "I take back what I said, I understand why it needs a front desk" Deeks whispered. "I'm positive Jake will be fine here"

"And yet I'm still worried" she said back to him, walking down the corridors with bright murals on each of the walls.

"Because you're his mommy" Deeks smiled. "It would be wrong if you weren't worried"

They finally reached the infant room of the day care, they were greeted by a lovely woman who took Jacob from them, and assuring them he was in good hands.

Deeks had to lead Kensi out, she was getting sympathetic looks from other mothers, and one even said 'It's so hard the first few weeks, don't worry though, It gets easier'

Deeks finally managed to get Kensi into the car and noticed she had a few stray tears.

"Is everything okay?"

"I miss him already" she sniffed.

Deeks sighed and leant over, pulling her into his arms. "It's okay, you'll see him in a few hours for lunch"

"You're right, I'm being stupid" She breathed in and out deeply, letting go of Deeks so he could drive them to work.

Kensi put a big smile on her face – she was happy to be back at work but couldn't portray that emotion on her face for some mysterious reason.

"Hey!" Callen stood up and hugged Kensi "Welcome back"

"Hey" she smiled back, "Good to be back"

Sam also pulled her into a hug. "No it's not" He told her. "It never is"

Her smile went slightly weaker as she sat down, noticing Deeks had put a framed photo of her and Jacob that he took minutes after Jacob was born on her desk.

She teared up slightly and took the photo.

"Are you okay Kens'?" Callen asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I still have the hormonal in balance due to breast feeding, couple with missing Jake, it's just hard"

"You'll make it through" Deeks smiled.

She smiled back, rubbing her thumb over the photo. "Yeah"

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**A/N: OKAY THIS IS SOOOO LATE. (it's 10pm here) but in my defence this day went uber fast and blame Mari and Beth for getting me caught up with collab video making as well.**

**I really wanted this to be longer but I really needed to upload it and it's 10pm and my dad's asleep in the next room and I have the loudest keyboard ever, that wakes him up – so instead of writing a new fic tomorrow – I'm making this a two-shot and there will be another chapter to this :)**

**I also might write a separate fic as well.. If I have time!**

**So please review if you think it's a good idea to continue this for another chapter or if I should leave it x**

**Love always, LJ x **


	2. Chapter 2

**Eh... I hate it.**

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******I Miss Him**  
**Rating: K+**  
**Words: 1,531**

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Kensi gripped hard on the dash as Deeks took a sharp turn – her first day back and they were already in a car chase, just what she needed! More stress on top of the factor she was going to be late at the day care feeding Jacob.

Finally an LAPD squad car stopped the vehicle they were in purist of and they got out, guns drawn. Deeks went to the driver's side and opened it, pulling the guy out and throwing him against the side of the car. "Bad move" He said, putting his gun back in his holster and grabbing his cuffs, Kensi still had her gun trained onto the guy's head until the cuffs were firmly clamped around his wrists.

Kensi lowered her gun as Deeks pulled him off the car, leading him to the squad vehicle.

"Hey, lady" The driver says.

Kensi looked around to him and Deeks stopped, noticing what the criminal had noticed. "Kens.."

"What?"

"Your boobs are leaking lady" he laughed.

Kensi blushed in pure embarrassment and clamped her arms around her chest. Deeks quickly passed off the guy to the LAPD squad people and ran over to her, taking off his zip-up hoodie and put it round her fast – zipping it up to cover the wet patched around the centre of her breasts.

"I should have just stuck to wearing that damn nursing bra" she cursed as she got back into the car. "Especially with the stress and knowing about the possibility of being late."

"Kensi, it's okay, it happens to a lot of women – and if he hadn't noticed I would have, I'm sure the people at the day care will understand and let you change your shirt before going into the main room.

Kensi smiled. "I guess so – it's natural – right?"

"Completely" He pecked her quickly before starting the car back up. "Have you got a nursing bra with you?"

"Yeah, I have one in my go-bag in case of something happening to this one whilst feeding. I just wanted to wear a normal bra for once, instead of one that required me wearing a sweatshirt due to it making my breasts look boxy."

"It's okay Kensi, look, you're beautiful and you've just had a baby 8 weeks ago, nobody cares what new mothers look like."

"I care, Deeks. I still have all this excess weight to lose, I feel so uncomfortable, my body feels so unnatural"

"Kensi, I don't know what to say." He paused. "I'm sure what has just happened, all of the mothers in there have experienced."

"Chased a suspect at high speed, been so stressed her breasts leaked and have the suspect point it out to her? Yeah, I'm sure that's what brings the mothers together at play dates"

"You know what I meant" He smiled.

"I know"

"Why don't you ask Nell if you an her can have a few hours just to do girl stuff over the weekend, go to a spa, go shopping, get you nails done. Do whatever you two do for fun, I can watch Jake."

Kensi raised an eyebrow at him. "You think me and Nell go to spa's for fun? How long have you known me?"

"Six years..." He was internally punching himself.

"And how long have we been together?"

"2 years"

"Right, then, have you ever known me to go to a spa with Nell?"

"No..." Ouch, low hit to his abdomen, he should have known better than to suggest girly things.

"And one last question..."

'No, no more questions!' Deeks' insides called.

"Where was the last place me and Nell went together?"

"Baby clothes shopping...?"

"Before that"

"... Sky diving."

"Mmhmm." She looked away from him as he continued driving towards the day care. Kensi shot a text off to ops to remind them that they were dropping by the day care because she had to feed Jacob.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence. Only when they parked up did Kensi sprout a smile and look over to Deeks, rushing out of the car.

Deeks had to run around the car, locking it as he ran to catch up with Kensi – boy she had really missed Jacob.

She ran into the building and flashed her 'Parent badge to the desk before running to the door.

Deeks ran in behind her and apologized to the woman, saying it was Kensi's first day away from the baby and she missed him so much.

The receptionist just smiled and said it was normal, so he followed in Kensi's footsteps, down the halls to the infantry.

Deeks finally spotted Kensi who was already in a soft looking chair, holding a bundle in her arms. He smiled brightly and walked over to her.

"You're not feeding him yet?" He asked as he sat on the less comfortable 'daddy' seat beside it.

"I wanted to wait for you" she smiled. Jacob looked confused and punched the air as he saw his parents, smiling toothlessly and moving his tongue around.

"He's hungry" Deeks smiled.

"Yeah" Kensi smiled back. Both of them were completely aware they were not the only ones there, and not to be ashamed about this.

Kensi handed Jacob to Deeks quickly before removing her jacket, turning the chair around so it was facing the mural on the wall – sure it was natural but Kensi still felt uncomfortable about the amount of men there, she knew she would get used to it eventually.

Deeks passed Jacob back just had she had finished pulling up her shit and pulling down her bra, as soon as Jacob latched Deeks put the nursing blanket around Kensi, covering the baby and her breasts and spinning the chair back round.

She still found the sensation of the suckling amazing, painful at times, but still amazing – Knowing her son got all his meals from her.

Deeks smiled and stroked Kensi's hair slowly as their son fed – he always admired how Kensi was able to do this – he also always felt like he was missing out on something big because he didn't have breasts, he couldn't wait until Jacob moved onto bottles or even solids because he wants to know what it feels like to feed his son.

Kensi smiled up at Deeks as she pulled the nursing blanket down slightly, feeling that Jacob had finished.

Deeks noticed and grabbed her go-bag ready for her to take to the bathroom to change.

After saying goodbye to Jacob Kensi and Deeks got back in the car, it took all of Kensi's willpower to not just call Hetty and take the rest of the day off – she wondered if this is what it feels like for all new mommies. Of course it would feel like this to everybody. She worried for the child whose mother wasn't sad to see it go.

"We'll see him later Kens' It will get easier, I promise"

"It will never get easier" She sighed. "He's our baby, I will never feel comfortable, I'll never not miss him, and if it's easy for you to leave him there then I want to know what the hell is wrong with you" She said defensively.

"Whoa, Kensi. I did NOT mean it like that, I will never be happy with leaving him, I'm just saying, slowly you will be happy with leaving him with them"

Kensi exhaled and sat up straight. "I'm sorry, I knew that, it's just I'm stressed, emotional—"

"You don't need to explain yourself Kens, Don't worry, I understand."

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**A/N: So it's pretty short, but yeah. OMG IT LET ME UPLOAD THIS.**

**Whenever I have time, I MIGHT write a epilogue for this... MIIIGHTTT.**

**Oh god I have like 5 fanfics to upload (When it stopped letting me update I stopped writing, not seeing much point in it) So yeah, Hopefully it will let me upload those as well :) (Two aren't NCIS:LA .. One is Fringe and one is Hawaii Five-0)**

**So yeah, WWWOOOOPPPP.**

**PRETTY PLEASE WITH A BIG BIG CHERRY ON TOP – REVIEW :D **

**-LJ x**


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